Booze in my hair and blood on my lips...

I forgot about this thing.

I'm sure nobody reads it at this point and that's probably for the best.
There are many new developments to mention.

On a whim I moved to Nashville at the end of July. Kyle drove me down... and he stayed! Weird at first but I am glad. Without his company I really would have nothing and I kinda like it when he sings to me.

I work as a waitress and am looking for a second job.
I have no friends here.
I'm (hopefully) starting school at the Salon Professional Academy on October 13th. I have to figure out a cosigner for the loan to make it happen and that is proving to be pretty goddamn difficult.
I had the best blond hair on the planet and of course I fucked up and dyed it brown again.
Holly and I have a stupid cat named Zooey... that I call Catt Doktor/Dumpster Cat. I can't stand her and if she was a person I'd probably punch her in the face.

I have a beautiful baby niece that I don't get to see often enough. Baby Abby makes me think that maybe one day in the future I might be lucky enough to have something so sweet for myself. (eww I've always hated babies what is wrong with me)

I miss Boston and I cannot wait to move back with a plan. I will not move back there until I'm licensed to do hair. I've spent the last couple of years wasting time and chasing people/ideas/nothing and it is time start a new chapter.

I can't decide, can't decide, can't decide annnything.

So I cut all my hair off. I've been thinking about it for months and it finally happened. I've been losing my hair for about 7 months and the longer it got the worse it looked... Unfortunately this haircut is pretty tragic and it only looks cute if the top half is pulled up. If I wear it down it's total mom hair. I'm also on my way to becoming a blond again. Fucking finally.

Pix of the new hair:

My roommate laughed at me and I started crying. :\

I'm booking my plane ticket home soon. I am going to bring back all of my summer clothes, knitting books and this bowl:


One day some dude will be lucky enough to lay in bed with me and my cat and eat ice cream out of this blue cat bowl that matches my pink cat bowl. Some day....

"Please don't stop looking at me"

I went the the doctor for the first time in about 12 years I think. I do manage to go see the girly vagina doctor every year but not like PCP medical doctors. I've had some things going on for months that I finally couldn't deal with anymore.. now I get to play the waiting game while Dr. R figures out if I'm dying or not. I'm 99% sure I'm not but I'd be 100 % less stressed if I was. Oh well.

It was 90 degrees the other day so I bought some dresses. I've missed wearing dresses. Also, I recently got two bathing suits in the mail.... Costa Rica here I come. One is totally bangin. One makes me look like a giant whore. Whatever. Kenny loves one-pieces.

Life has been fun lately. I went to a fundraiser event with my roommate. Tons of handsome dudes in suits. Free booze. Dancing and singing and flirty smiles. Ugh. I need more men in suits in my life. Every time Maura left me alone I had some nerd come bother me. In the first ten minutes I was there I had three dudes try to talk to me/get me to dance/annoy me.


Lately I'm beginning to feel a little less alone up here. I like that I can walk down the street in Allston or Brighton or Brookline and run into someone I know. I like that people actually seem to enjoy my company. I still wish some people played different roles in my life but oh well. Life isn't about getting what I want I guess.

Either way, I still can't wait to go home in June and see my friends and family and my handsome little devil, Petri!

...and if I didn't know better I'd think Rocky Votolato wrote "Whiskey Straight" about me.

People continue to surprise me.

So this morning I was walking down Chestnut Hill Ave, singing a Jaymay song to myself. I always listen to her when I walk to work for some reason. It was probably "Grey or Blue." I love that song.

Anyways, I was chatting on BBM and I look up and see a somewhat handsome dude walking towards me and he just says "HEY" so I said hi and kept walking. I did a look back because well.. he was cute and said hi so I looked back and he was looking back too. Whatever, no big deal. Dudes look. Life goes on and I keep walking. I get like a third of a mile away and I hear another "HEY" which means it was loud because my ipod was all the way up and I can't ever hear when that thing is on. I take an earbud out, turn around and theres the dude. He had come all the way back to tell me that he thought I was incredibly cute and he was on his way to New York but he wanted my number. Random and weird but flattering. Guys here have more balls than ones from the South because nobody would ever do that to me back at home. Guys from home don't tell me they think I'm cute or anything like that until I move across the country.

Speaking of home, I would be booking a plane ticket back to Alabama right now if my boss had left my paycheck at work for me today... but she didn't. Awesome. I bust my ass working 7 days a week, juggling two jobs and making as much time as possible for both and I can't even get paid on time.

Another update: As of one week ago the bags of puke are no longer on my porch. That is no thanks to me... Kyle voluntarily threw them away for me because I guess he's realized how lazy I am... or he was tired of standing out there to smoke next to my month and a half old puke.

Costa Rica countdown would be happening if Kenny could stop breaking himself and look at a goddamn calendar to give me some dates. I hope your arm is fixable. Can't ride dolphins with a broken arm :(

No pictures in this post so I know that nobody will even read it. No care ever.

I already miss you all the time....

Ugh! Here I am worrying about a Piccard when my Petri was in the hospital! He was attacked by a dog. As if I didn't dislike dogs enough before now I fucking hate them.

I was over at 1537.. hanging out with the cats.. baking some cookies.

See. Cats:


Cookies:
Anyways, so I'm hanging out. Baking. Petting cats.. probably talking to Stewie about all of my troubles and my mom calls and tells me my Peach might have to be put to sleep. So I cry for an hour and say goodbye to Stew and Monster because I feel guilty hanging out with them knowing my baby is alone in some emergency vet in Alabama. Luckily, he is okay now. He's on some meds and is resting at my mother's and I am happy again.

I would be happier if I walked into my room every day and he was laying on my bed like he used to. One day... I think I will move to Birmingham or Atlanta by this time next year and Petri will be all mine again.

Also. Here is my updated room. I got my dresser and desk and stuff but I still need more things. I need money for more things. I'm arranging a cozy nook by dresser, that you can't see here, to be my floor cushion and mirror area to do my makeup and hair.

où est mon piccard?

My last post seemed so optimistic... and things are okay. Nothing has changed (seriously- the bags of puke are still on my porch) but goddamn I wish things were better than okay for once. I regret almost everything I've done since I came back here and I'm tired of dwelling on it. I let someone make me feel like a fool once again and then I made someone who didn't deserve it, feel the same way I do. I avoid dating because the best dudes always like me and I know that I won't let myself be what they want. In an effort to avoid leading people on or making someone bummed out I do exactly what I don't want to. My brain is seriously fucked up.

"I like you but I don't want to make you sad so kiss me and then I'll leave you alone forever."

That scenario has unfortunately been played out several times in my life and I wish I had done things differently. I wish I could let myself feel anything for anyone but I can't right now.

So I'm trying to learn French. I'm going to be taking lessons from a nice French man in Cambridge.

Ideally, I'd like to become so fluent that I only speak in French and eventually forget how to properly converse in English but I'll probably be lucky to even learn basic conversation in French. I can dream.

Nobody cares. I know. I don't care either.

Oh, I am buying this dress:


and I will probably wear it every day until it falls apart. I want it in black but I am getting it in white because I wear black every day and this old woman at the store thinks I am in mourning... and I kind of am.

Take your memories, I don't need em....

I am beginning to hate the warm days here because they are always followed by a snow day.

This is my new street covered in snow. Washington Square is soso cute. Not to mention soso convenient. Sushi and chinese food across the street. 7-11, coffee shops, banks and the t-stop are just around the corner. No more buses!!!


This is the aftermath of Sunday Funday.


Two bags of my own vomit sitting on the little porch off of my bedroom. I need someone to remind me not to drink that cheap wine from Trader Joe's like it is water ever again.

This is baby Stew. The best cat ever. I think he is the cat version of myself. I miss living at 1537 because I miss him sleeping in a box in my room all day.



This is me being drunk with Opi... my roommate Maura's little dog. He loves America and likes to prove it by shitting in Josh's room while wearing an American flag hoody.


All of these photos were taken with my new big girl phone. I got a pink Blackberry Curve! I barely know how to use it... but add me on BBM! pin : 31EF10B0.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

I think I've moved more times than I've washed my clothes since I moved to Boston. I wish I was kidding. This better not become a routine. It is expensive and tiring and I really don't have time for it.

This is my new room so far:


It is so big!

I've still got stuff to bring over and I am waiting for my dresser and desk to be delivered. The next thing I need to buy is a tv with a dvd player so I can set up Netflix again and go back to never leaving my room because I'm busy watching one too many romantic comedies.

Things in my life keep changing. New apartments, new people, new jobs. New lots of things. Same old Susan. Although old and familiar is much more appealing I am trying so hard to invite new things into my life.

Question: I collect postcards (feel free to send me some) and I need a cool way to display them in my bedroom. Any ideas?

Why did I wake up at 6:30?

Yesterday's weather got me totally amped on the approaching summer. I think 55 might be the perfect temperature. I didn't even need a jacket.

I'm definitely looking forward to this summer, cause me and Kenny are gonna go to Costa Rica- the relaxing beachy area of Costa Rica. Definitely not the hiking, getting dirty and staying in hostels part. I'm gonna lay in the sand with drinks in hand wearing something that looks like this:


while Kenny runs around the beaches with virgin daiquiris trying to pick up babes in something that looks like this:


and then we are gonna ride jet skis into a waterfall.

I am already looking for a big black floppy hat to wear.

Although I am looking forward to this summer I doubt anything will beat last summer. I'll miss going to Birmingham every weekend and seeing dollar movies and having snobiz and finding random places to swim and swimming in lakes in my undies with naked boys and staying up way too late with Ana, talking about dumb boys who make us sad and cute boys who we want to kiss.

Also. Eagle's Deli in Cleveland Circle. Delicious. It sucks that I will be living so close to there because I can already feel myself gaining weight.

I'm really dead this time.....

Okay this isn't a funny story. My life is boring and nothing happens so I doubt I'll ever have funny stories to tell like I used to.

So check it, I found the best apartment. Its big and beautiful and clean.. its in Washington Square in Brookline. It is super convenient to both of my jobs and best of all it doesn't have stupid fucking sinks that look like this:


This sink is useless. Completely impractical. I love when night time rolls around and I need to wash my face and I have two options: freezing cold water or scalding hot water because THERE IS A FAUCET FOR EACH. I try combining the water in my hands but it is a wasted effort and I'd probably just go wash my face in the kitchen if the sink wasn't always full of gross dishes.

Also, check this cute little penguin cupcake out:



I am going to eat it.

P.S. I got a haircut and I look so fly.

Oops, I almost did it again....

Okay whatever. I got offered the job on a temporary basis. They said I left a very nice impression but they are worried about my readiness because the position has more responsibilities than I am used to. I'll give it a shot because I have no other options.

and if my roommates didn't hate me before I guess they do now. I'm on the hunt for a new place because I apparently make them miserable and I don't want to do that. It is weird that Sara is the one who is afraid of making me mad since I've never even been remotely upset with her but oh well. I am not going to stay in an apartment where I have to stress about bills and people being clean/responsible and I stress them out by being very up-front and insensitive with the problems I have here. It's whatever I guess. It sucks though because I think Sara and I work really well as friends.

It sucks that this is turning out like a livejournal. I won't post again until something funny/interesting happens so I can tell a story about it.

No, I am not where I belong..

I walk to the bus stop every day and every day I see this little lady and it makes me laugh.


She's got the right idea. I'd love to be in a bikini with a drink in hand.. not the same cheap beer she has but whatever. Anyways. I walked past her on my way home from work last night and she had been beheaded. :(

I don't think I got the job. I called to follow up on Thursday and had to leave a message because apparently the lady I needed to speak to is not going to be in the office much until Tuesday. Either way I have a strong feeling I didn't get it so whatever. That's fine. It just gives me a better reason not to stay here.

It's weird though because people here love me, strangers that is. For the second time last night while I was working at Pier 1 I had someone ask me for a business card because we were chatting for a bit and at first she just wanted to hire me as babysitter and then asked about my work history and told me she liked me and I had too much personality to be working retail and that next time she is in the store I better have a printed card with at least my contact info for her. It made me want to run across the street to Kinko's. Even my manager, Howida, notices how much people like me. Strangers get to see the best side of me because I don't know them, and since I don't know them I don't hate them. My bitterness has nothing to do with them so they don't see it. They get nothing but my sweet, funny, chatty and charming side. 3/4ths of you have no idea, but I'm incredibly charming.

I'm giving it a little bit more time before I call it quits.

Someone buy me a spaceheater.

Well, here is proof that not-so-passive/aggressive notes (placed above the thermostat indicating that I will turn into a massive bitch if the heating bill gets high) do not work.


No, your eyes aren't deceiving you. This is a crystal clear image of the most recent gas bill- captured with my camera phone (it's an LG in case you want to rush out and buy it based entirely on the quality of this picture.) $689. This past month was $322 alone. Fuck. My. Life. Luckily, I've only lived for two months so none of that back balance has anything to do with me but I can't wait till it doesn't get paid and I can't cook or take a shower or sleep because its 10 degrees in here because our gas has been turned off. Awesome.

Sweet little Sara is ignoring the failure that was my note and has left her own on Jess's bedroom door.


My roomates call me Sue. I'm not sure why and at first it was kind of weird to me but I think I like it. I've never once introduced myself to anyone as Sue and aside from my last blog URL of suecat6969420, I've never referred to myself as Sue but whatever. I kind of like it now and I label my water bottle at work with Sue.

Anyways, Jess asked me if I wanted to go on a double date with her an her boyfriend and some boy (she showed me some photos- he is cute) I've never met. I'm unsure about it. I haven't been on a date in over a year and a half. I've put more effort into avoiding it than I have in showing interest. My brain finds ways to talk me out of certain things. I'm not so sure that the way I feel is normal.

PS. PS. PS.... PS. Eliot has a video up and I love it. Will have to buy the new album because I love the Crutchfields. video:

http://www.ifyoumakeit.com/video/p-s-eliot/we-d-never-agree/

Where is my Al Bundy?

I'm not sure when or how it happened. I spend a lot of time thinking about love and marriage.. and somewhere along the way I've started thinking about babies. 99% of the time I hate children. I don't know if it was seeing Lindsay during and after the pregnancy and seeing little Maddie or my sister being pregnant, or just some fluke that messed with my head while I was watching Weekend at Bernie's on my tiny little laptop.. but now I cannot get the idea of a baby out of my head.

FYI: if I ever trick some poor sucker into marrying me and we have a baby- I hope it is a girl and I hope everyone can appreciate my love for Gone With the Wind because that baby's name will be Scarlett and she will be brought home in the tiniest green velvet dress the world has ever seen.

Moving along. Last night I don't know what happened. I ended up going two stops past my T stop because I was too busy dodging eye contact with the most adorable looking long-haired guy that was sitting across from me. The amount of guys I see on the way home with long hair fascinates me. You could throw long hair on an ugly dude and I would probably still be feeling it I think. Something is wrong with me. It took me forever to get home after that because the MBTA 57 bus drivers suck at life. This is the third time I've had a bus just go right past me even though I'm 100 % visible at the bus stop.

In knitting news, I finished a pretty gold scarf. It's my favorite one I've made.. I wish I would've had enough yarn left over to make a hat. I made a few mistakes that I caught too late but oh well. I like it even though I don't wear gold. Maybe I should send it to Kenny in Baltimore? y/n if you want it. I can send you a little package so you know that I'm still your girl, Suz.

Also, check my hand:


The swelling has pretty much gone down 75% but its horribly bruised and sore. This just one of the many reasons working retail makes me hate life. I hope I get the Office Manager position I interviewed for this week.

I learn lessons the hard way.

I guess I'm blogging again.

I've got a whole lot of nothing to say for anyone who doesn't give a fuck to read.
That sounds weird when said out loud but I think it was properly worded... maybe I'm missing some punctuation. Who cares.

I'm back in Boston. I'm not really sure what I was thinking. For the second time I've left friends and family, and oh my god this time I left my cat, just to be alone. I hope this doesn't become a habit. I'm still trying to conquer nail-biting. If Petri was here I don't think things would be so bad.


One day it will be just me and him like it's supposed to be. No roomates. No heart-breaking boys. No + 1's. I really will be the crazy cat lady.

For now I guess I just have to settle for sitting in my room while singing songs to myself and reading old letters and postcards and birthday cards and small notes and other things that make me smile and make me sad. I just want to say that if you have ever given me anything that meant something, I still have it.


This is only a small fraction.

Shout out to the people who made me this way:

leave me alone.