I already miss you all the time....

Ugh! Here I am worrying about a Piccard when my Petri was in the hospital! He was attacked by a dog. As if I didn't dislike dogs enough before now I fucking hate them.

I was over at 1537.. hanging out with the cats.. baking some cookies.

See. Cats:


Cookies:
Anyways, so I'm hanging out. Baking. Petting cats.. probably talking to Stewie about all of my troubles and my mom calls and tells me my Peach might have to be put to sleep. So I cry for an hour and say goodbye to Stew and Monster because I feel guilty hanging out with them knowing my baby is alone in some emergency vet in Alabama. Luckily, he is okay now. He's on some meds and is resting at my mother's and I am happy again.

I would be happier if I walked into my room every day and he was laying on my bed like he used to. One day... I think I will move to Birmingham or Atlanta by this time next year and Petri will be all mine again.

Also. Here is my updated room. I got my dresser and desk and stuff but I still need more things. I need money for more things. I'm arranging a cozy nook by dresser, that you can't see here, to be my floor cushion and mirror area to do my makeup and hair.

où est mon piccard?

My last post seemed so optimistic... and things are okay. Nothing has changed (seriously- the bags of puke are still on my porch) but goddamn I wish things were better than okay for once. I regret almost everything I've done since I came back here and I'm tired of dwelling on it. I let someone make me feel like a fool once again and then I made someone who didn't deserve it, feel the same way I do. I avoid dating because the best dudes always like me and I know that I won't let myself be what they want. In an effort to avoid leading people on or making someone bummed out I do exactly what I don't want to. My brain is seriously fucked up.

"I like you but I don't want to make you sad so kiss me and then I'll leave you alone forever."

That scenario has unfortunately been played out several times in my life and I wish I had done things differently. I wish I could let myself feel anything for anyone but I can't right now.

So I'm trying to learn French. I'm going to be taking lessons from a nice French man in Cambridge.

Ideally, I'd like to become so fluent that I only speak in French and eventually forget how to properly converse in English but I'll probably be lucky to even learn basic conversation in French. I can dream.

Nobody cares. I know. I don't care either.

Oh, I am buying this dress:


and I will probably wear it every day until it falls apart. I want it in black but I am getting it in white because I wear black every day and this old woman at the store thinks I am in mourning... and I kind of am.

Take your memories, I don't need em....

I am beginning to hate the warm days here because they are always followed by a snow day.

This is my new street covered in snow. Washington Square is soso cute. Not to mention soso convenient. Sushi and chinese food across the street. 7-11, coffee shops, banks and the t-stop are just around the corner. No more buses!!!


This is the aftermath of Sunday Funday.


Two bags of my own vomit sitting on the little porch off of my bedroom. I need someone to remind me not to drink that cheap wine from Trader Joe's like it is water ever again.

This is baby Stew. The best cat ever. I think he is the cat version of myself. I miss living at 1537 because I miss him sleeping in a box in my room all day.



This is me being drunk with Opi... my roommate Maura's little dog. He loves America and likes to prove it by shitting in Josh's room while wearing an American flag hoody.


All of these photos were taken with my new big girl phone. I got a pink Blackberry Curve! I barely know how to use it... but add me on BBM! pin : 31EF10B0.