No, I am not where I belong..

I walk to the bus stop every day and every day I see this little lady and it makes me laugh.


She's got the right idea. I'd love to be in a bikini with a drink in hand.. not the same cheap beer she has but whatever. Anyways. I walked past her on my way home from work last night and she had been beheaded. :(

I don't think I got the job. I called to follow up on Thursday and had to leave a message because apparently the lady I needed to speak to is not going to be in the office much until Tuesday. Either way I have a strong feeling I didn't get it so whatever. That's fine. It just gives me a better reason not to stay here.

It's weird though because people here love me, strangers that is. For the second time last night while I was working at Pier 1 I had someone ask me for a business card because we were chatting for a bit and at first she just wanted to hire me as babysitter and then asked about my work history and told me she liked me and I had too much personality to be working retail and that next time she is in the store I better have a printed card with at least my contact info for her. It made me want to run across the street to Kinko's. Even my manager, Howida, notices how much people like me. Strangers get to see the best side of me because I don't know them, and since I don't know them I don't hate them. My bitterness has nothing to do with them so they don't see it. They get nothing but my sweet, funny, chatty and charming side. 3/4ths of you have no idea, but I'm incredibly charming.

I'm giving it a little bit more time before I call it quits.

Someone buy me a spaceheater.

Well, here is proof that not-so-passive/aggressive notes (placed above the thermostat indicating that I will turn into a massive bitch if the heating bill gets high) do not work.


No, your eyes aren't deceiving you. This is a crystal clear image of the most recent gas bill- captured with my camera phone (it's an LG in case you want to rush out and buy it based entirely on the quality of this picture.) $689. This past month was $322 alone. Fuck. My. Life. Luckily, I've only lived for two months so none of that back balance has anything to do with me but I can't wait till it doesn't get paid and I can't cook or take a shower or sleep because its 10 degrees in here because our gas has been turned off. Awesome.

Sweet little Sara is ignoring the failure that was my note and has left her own on Jess's bedroom door.


My roomates call me Sue. I'm not sure why and at first it was kind of weird to me but I think I like it. I've never once introduced myself to anyone as Sue and aside from my last blog URL of suecat6969420, I've never referred to myself as Sue but whatever. I kind of like it now and I label my water bottle at work with Sue.

Anyways, Jess asked me if I wanted to go on a double date with her an her boyfriend and some boy (she showed me some photos- he is cute) I've never met. I'm unsure about it. I haven't been on a date in over a year and a half. I've put more effort into avoiding it than I have in showing interest. My brain finds ways to talk me out of certain things. I'm not so sure that the way I feel is normal.

PS. PS. PS.... PS. Eliot has a video up and I love it. Will have to buy the new album because I love the Crutchfields. video:

http://www.ifyoumakeit.com/video/p-s-eliot/we-d-never-agree/

Where is my Al Bundy?

I'm not sure when or how it happened. I spend a lot of time thinking about love and marriage.. and somewhere along the way I've started thinking about babies. 99% of the time I hate children. I don't know if it was seeing Lindsay during and after the pregnancy and seeing little Maddie or my sister being pregnant, or just some fluke that messed with my head while I was watching Weekend at Bernie's on my tiny little laptop.. but now I cannot get the idea of a baby out of my head.

FYI: if I ever trick some poor sucker into marrying me and we have a baby- I hope it is a girl and I hope everyone can appreciate my love for Gone With the Wind because that baby's name will be Scarlett and she will be brought home in the tiniest green velvet dress the world has ever seen.

Moving along. Last night I don't know what happened. I ended up going two stops past my T stop because I was too busy dodging eye contact with the most adorable looking long-haired guy that was sitting across from me. The amount of guys I see on the way home with long hair fascinates me. You could throw long hair on an ugly dude and I would probably still be feeling it I think. Something is wrong with me. It took me forever to get home after that because the MBTA 57 bus drivers suck at life. This is the third time I've had a bus just go right past me even though I'm 100 % visible at the bus stop.

In knitting news, I finished a pretty gold scarf. It's my favorite one I've made.. I wish I would've had enough yarn left over to make a hat. I made a few mistakes that I caught too late but oh well. I like it even though I don't wear gold. Maybe I should send it to Kenny in Baltimore? y/n if you want it. I can send you a little package so you know that I'm still your girl, Suz.

Also, check my hand:


The swelling has pretty much gone down 75% but its horribly bruised and sore. This just one of the many reasons working retail makes me hate life. I hope I get the Office Manager position I interviewed for this week.

I learn lessons the hard way.

I guess I'm blogging again.

I've got a whole lot of nothing to say for anyone who doesn't give a fuck to read.
That sounds weird when said out loud but I think it was properly worded... maybe I'm missing some punctuation. Who cares.

I'm back in Boston. I'm not really sure what I was thinking. For the second time I've left friends and family, and oh my god this time I left my cat, just to be alone. I hope this doesn't become a habit. I'm still trying to conquer nail-biting. If Petri was here I don't think things would be so bad.


One day it will be just me and him like it's supposed to be. No roomates. No heart-breaking boys. No + 1's. I really will be the crazy cat lady.

For now I guess I just have to settle for sitting in my room while singing songs to myself and reading old letters and postcards and birthday cards and small notes and other things that make me smile and make me sad. I just want to say that if you have ever given me anything that meant something, I still have it.


This is only a small fraction.

Shout out to the people who made me this way:

leave me alone.