Booze in my hair and blood on my lips...

I forgot about this thing.

I'm sure nobody reads it at this point and that's probably for the best.
There are many new developments to mention.

On a whim I moved to Nashville at the end of July. Kyle drove me down... and he stayed! Weird at first but I am glad. Without his company I really would have nothing and I kinda like it when he sings to me.

I work as a waitress and am looking for a second job.
I have no friends here.
I'm (hopefully) starting school at the Salon Professional Academy on October 13th. I have to figure out a cosigner for the loan to make it happen and that is proving to be pretty goddamn difficult.
I had the best blond hair on the planet and of course I fucked up and dyed it brown again.
Holly and I have a stupid cat named Zooey... that I call Catt Doktor/Dumpster Cat. I can't stand her and if she was a person I'd probably punch her in the face.

I have a beautiful baby niece that I don't get to see often enough. Baby Abby makes me think that maybe one day in the future I might be lucky enough to have something so sweet for myself. (eww I've always hated babies what is wrong with me)

I miss Boston and I cannot wait to move back with a plan. I will not move back there until I'm licensed to do hair. I've spent the last couple of years wasting time and chasing people/ideas/nothing and it is time start a new chapter.

I can't decide, can't decide, can't decide annnything.

So I cut all my hair off. I've been thinking about it for months and it finally happened. I've been losing my hair for about 7 months and the longer it got the worse it looked... Unfortunately this haircut is pretty tragic and it only looks cute if the top half is pulled up. If I wear it down it's total mom hair. I'm also on my way to becoming a blond again. Fucking finally.

Pix of the new hair:

My roommate laughed at me and I started crying. :\

I'm booking my plane ticket home soon. I am going to bring back all of my summer clothes, knitting books and this bowl:


One day some dude will be lucky enough to lay in bed with me and my cat and eat ice cream out of this blue cat bowl that matches my pink cat bowl. Some day....

"Please don't stop looking at me"

I went the the doctor for the first time in about 12 years I think. I do manage to go see the girly vagina doctor every year but not like PCP medical doctors. I've had some things going on for months that I finally couldn't deal with anymore.. now I get to play the waiting game while Dr. R figures out if I'm dying or not. I'm 99% sure I'm not but I'd be 100 % less stressed if I was. Oh well.

It was 90 degrees the other day so I bought some dresses. I've missed wearing dresses. Also, I recently got two bathing suits in the mail.... Costa Rica here I come. One is totally bangin. One makes me look like a giant whore. Whatever. Kenny loves one-pieces.

Life has been fun lately. I went to a fundraiser event with my roommate. Tons of handsome dudes in suits. Free booze. Dancing and singing and flirty smiles. Ugh. I need more men in suits in my life. Every time Maura left me alone I had some nerd come bother me. In the first ten minutes I was there I had three dudes try to talk to me/get me to dance/annoy me.


Lately I'm beginning to feel a little less alone up here. I like that I can walk down the street in Allston or Brighton or Brookline and run into someone I know. I like that people actually seem to enjoy my company. I still wish some people played different roles in my life but oh well. Life isn't about getting what I want I guess.

Either way, I still can't wait to go home in June and see my friends and family and my handsome little devil, Petri!

...and if I didn't know better I'd think Rocky Votolato wrote "Whiskey Straight" about me.

People continue to surprise me.

So this morning I was walking down Chestnut Hill Ave, singing a Jaymay song to myself. I always listen to her when I walk to work for some reason. It was probably "Grey or Blue." I love that song.

Anyways, I was chatting on BBM and I look up and see a somewhat handsome dude walking towards me and he just says "HEY" so I said hi and kept walking. I did a look back because well.. he was cute and said hi so I looked back and he was looking back too. Whatever, no big deal. Dudes look. Life goes on and I keep walking. I get like a third of a mile away and I hear another "HEY" which means it was loud because my ipod was all the way up and I can't ever hear when that thing is on. I take an earbud out, turn around and theres the dude. He had come all the way back to tell me that he thought I was incredibly cute and he was on his way to New York but he wanted my number. Random and weird but flattering. Guys here have more balls than ones from the South because nobody would ever do that to me back at home. Guys from home don't tell me they think I'm cute or anything like that until I move across the country.

Speaking of home, I would be booking a plane ticket back to Alabama right now if my boss had left my paycheck at work for me today... but she didn't. Awesome. I bust my ass working 7 days a week, juggling two jobs and making as much time as possible for both and I can't even get paid on time.

Another update: As of one week ago the bags of puke are no longer on my porch. That is no thanks to me... Kyle voluntarily threw them away for me because I guess he's realized how lazy I am... or he was tired of standing out there to smoke next to my month and a half old puke.

Costa Rica countdown would be happening if Kenny could stop breaking himself and look at a goddamn calendar to give me some dates. I hope your arm is fixable. Can't ride dolphins with a broken arm :(

No pictures in this post so I know that nobody will even read it. No care ever.

I already miss you all the time....

Ugh! Here I am worrying about a Piccard when my Petri was in the hospital! He was attacked by a dog. As if I didn't dislike dogs enough before now I fucking hate them.

I was over at 1537.. hanging out with the cats.. baking some cookies.

See. Cats:


Cookies:
Anyways, so I'm hanging out. Baking. Petting cats.. probably talking to Stewie about all of my troubles and my mom calls and tells me my Peach might have to be put to sleep. So I cry for an hour and say goodbye to Stew and Monster because I feel guilty hanging out with them knowing my baby is alone in some emergency vet in Alabama. Luckily, he is okay now. He's on some meds and is resting at my mother's and I am happy again.

I would be happier if I walked into my room every day and he was laying on my bed like he used to. One day... I think I will move to Birmingham or Atlanta by this time next year and Petri will be all mine again.

Also. Here is my updated room. I got my dresser and desk and stuff but I still need more things. I need money for more things. I'm arranging a cozy nook by dresser, that you can't see here, to be my floor cushion and mirror area to do my makeup and hair.

où est mon piccard?

My last post seemed so optimistic... and things are okay. Nothing has changed (seriously- the bags of puke are still on my porch) but goddamn I wish things were better than okay for once. I regret almost everything I've done since I came back here and I'm tired of dwelling on it. I let someone make me feel like a fool once again and then I made someone who didn't deserve it, feel the same way I do. I avoid dating because the best dudes always like me and I know that I won't let myself be what they want. In an effort to avoid leading people on or making someone bummed out I do exactly what I don't want to. My brain is seriously fucked up.

"I like you but I don't want to make you sad so kiss me and then I'll leave you alone forever."

That scenario has unfortunately been played out several times in my life and I wish I had done things differently. I wish I could let myself feel anything for anyone but I can't right now.

So I'm trying to learn French. I'm going to be taking lessons from a nice French man in Cambridge.

Ideally, I'd like to become so fluent that I only speak in French and eventually forget how to properly converse in English but I'll probably be lucky to even learn basic conversation in French. I can dream.

Nobody cares. I know. I don't care either.

Oh, I am buying this dress:


and I will probably wear it every day until it falls apart. I want it in black but I am getting it in white because I wear black every day and this old woman at the store thinks I am in mourning... and I kind of am.

Take your memories, I don't need em....

I am beginning to hate the warm days here because they are always followed by a snow day.

This is my new street covered in snow. Washington Square is soso cute. Not to mention soso convenient. Sushi and chinese food across the street. 7-11, coffee shops, banks and the t-stop are just around the corner. No more buses!!!


This is the aftermath of Sunday Funday.


Two bags of my own vomit sitting on the little porch off of my bedroom. I need someone to remind me not to drink that cheap wine from Trader Joe's like it is water ever again.

This is baby Stew. The best cat ever. I think he is the cat version of myself. I miss living at 1537 because I miss him sleeping in a box in my room all day.



This is me being drunk with Opi... my roommate Maura's little dog. He loves America and likes to prove it by shitting in Josh's room while wearing an American flag hoody.


All of these photos were taken with my new big girl phone. I got a pink Blackberry Curve! I barely know how to use it... but add me on BBM! pin : 31EF10B0.